


Not everyone can be saved

by hamine2



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 20:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21854632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamine2/pseuds/hamine2
Summary: Deep down, Lena still cares about Kara.(Or the fic where we see Kara grieve the loss of Argo, but not in a healthy way.)
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 9
Kudos: 397





	Not everyone can be saved

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a few days ago, but only had time to publish it now... I didn't edit this yet, so it's for sure full of mistakes... Sorry :c

Technically, they were in _good_ terms. Not _great_ , just... _Good_.

After the final battle ended, and the multiverse had been saved, Kara had briefly spoken to her. Not to apologise, not to ask for a second chance. Just to say the tiniest of thank you's, smile shyly, and walk away.

At that point, Lena was so drained and tired of everything, she just agreed politely to what the hero had said, before she left.

So yes, it was fairly obvious that they weren't as close as they used to be, because to be honest, that would be impossible. But, they could stand to be near each other, without creating unnecessary drama, like they did before all hell broke loose.

That was progress, Lena supposed.  
At least it was "better than pretending to hate her, and trying to take over the world just for funsies", as Alex had recently commented.

With all of that said, she was surprised to see that the blonde hadn't arrived to the party thrown by the Legends, to celebrate the universe's - and Green Arrow's- successful resurrection.

She had thought that, after everything, Kara would want to spend more time with her friends and family. Was she bothered by her presence? Was that the reason why she hadn't appeared?  
Letting her curiosity get to her, Lena grabbed her handbag and drank the rest of her champagne, before leaving the room with a click of her heels.

She didn't want her friendship back, of course she didn't. But she didn't want to be avoided either.

"Hey..." She heard Alex's voice approach her, right before she stepped in the chill air of the night. "Where are you going, the party is just getting started."

Faking annoyance, she turned around.

"That's none of your business, Director Danvers."

"Oh, come on Lena, we're way past that. We both died a week ago. I've seen you cry more times since then than in the last four year's I've known you. And you've hugged me a lot for someone who claims to hate me, so cut the bullshit, and tell me why you're leaving."

"Why, so you can track me?"

"For fuck's sake..." She breathed, laying both hands over her hips. "I'm just worried, okay?"

Lena was about to bark back another petty response, but all words lost meaning when she took her time to look at her face. She could see the genuine affection expressed in those curved brows, and the exhaustion and fear that came with it.

Turns out that, after everything, her Luthor heart still wasn't as cold as she wished it to be; she couldn't push her away. As much as she wanted to.

Sighing, she explained herself.

"I'm going to look for Kara. After everything she's been through, she deserves to be here. She deserves a night of rest. We might not be in the best of terms, but... Even I can see how much she has done for the multiverse. She needs a break." 

So there it was, the truth she could no longer deny. After everything, she still cared for the Kryptonian. Even if the very thought of her made her heart ache and constrict against itself.

"While I agree with you, and I really, really, am thankful that you still want anything to do with her- with us..." Alex paused, thinking her next words wisely. "I don't think you should go to her apartment. Not today, at least."

"Why not?" She asked, crossing her arms. "You think I'm going to hurt her?-

"-No, it's not that." The Director looked away, before shortening the space between them. "It's Kara. she's not been doing great since the Crisis ended. We were able to save this earth and ours, by merging them into one, but... Argo..." She drifted off, as Lena's jaw slowly dropped.

"Her mom..." She paused, eyes glistening. "Is she...?"

"Clark was able to save Lois and his son, but he didn't, he couldn't... Save Alura." Alex explained, just as emotional as the woman before her. "Kara has been blaming herself for her death since then."

"That's..." The CEO whispered. "That's bloody bullshit!"

"I know, and I've tried to make her see that!... But she says she feels helpless, because, how is she able to save almost all of the multiverse, and somehow, still lose her mom?"

Lena hadn't stopped to think about it that way. She couldn't imagine the pain of having powers, of being just as almighty as a god, and still lose everything she held dear. She understood, but at the same time, couldn't grasp the amount of grief and frustration the Kryptonian must have been feeling since Argo's demise. 

"I asked Kara to come with us to the party, I really did try to make her come. But she wanted to be alone... She told me to go... I had to go." Alex confessed, and judging by her choice of words and the utter defeat in her voice, the businesswoman guessed she had been forced to leave.

"I'm sorry." Lena said after a while, uncrossing her arms and wrapping them around the Director.

"Me too." She whispered, tightening the hug before letting go. She looked straight into the Luthor's striking green eyes before continuing. "You're not giving up on going to see her, are you?"

Lena laughed dryly. 

"No." She replied, opening her handbag and taking out her phone, then texting her driver her current address. 

"Be careful. You'll be dealing with an emotionally unstable Kryptonian. If anything goes south, call me."

"I will." She promised, as she saw a black car turn around the corner of the street. "Goodnight Alex."

"Take care, Lena."

\----

  
The first thing she noticed when she opened the apartment door were the empty boxes of Chinese food scattered everywhere. Then, the bottles of what seemed to be some kind of alien rum, pilling up next to the sofa. Dirty clothes covered the floor. Mountains of plates rising in the sink. Most lights were turned off, the curtains were shut, and the wall had a worrying amount of burned spots, product of what she assumed, was Kara's laser vision. 

From what Alex had said, she had rightfully assumed the hero would be depressed. But somehow, things seemed to be way worse than just that.

Throwing her key of the apartment inside her bag - Kara had given her one a few months ago, right before Lex had escaped from prison-, Lena decided to walk up to the main bedroom. 

She knocked on the door, but no response was heard. No one told her to go away, or to come in. Throwing caution to the wind, she made her way inside.

As her eyesight adjusted to the poor lighting, provided only by the open window on her left, what she saw in there was no different than the scene present in the living room.

There was a surprisingly big amount alcohol spilled of the floor. And also, papers. Most of them filled with scrabbles or rants, some furiously smashed into a ball, others simply torn to shreds. 

But what almost made her cry was the framed picture she found on the ground, near the nightstand. The glass was broken, but she wasn't afraid to lower her fingers and pick up the paper that layed beneath it.

It was a fairly recent photograph of Alura and Kara, holding the Pulitzer in Argo. Besides them were her cousin, wife, and son, joined by what she assumed were a few other family members and friends.

Somehow, seeing the picture made Lena feel even worse. It hit too close to home.  
Any time someone apologized to her about her mother's death, they almost always seemed to look only at the tragedy. They couldn't grasp her as anything more than that, a dead woman. It was hard to conceive her as a living, breathing being, that laughed, joked, cried and ate.  
For a while, she had seen Kara's family in the same way. They all seemed static, frozen in time. Black and white figures of a distant time.  
That photograph made them real. The imperfect smiles. The way some of their faces were blurred, while others seemed downright funny. The vibrant colour of the clothes and the alien attire didn't take away her capacity of putting herself in one of their shoes. They were a family, just like any other. And now they were gone.

Leaving the picture over the nightstand, Lena wiped away her tears. The image had definitely messed up some of the little boxes in her head, but she needed to be strong. She needed to find Kara.

As if on cue, she heard small cries coming from outside. She knew the bedroom had a fire escape stairway, so she figured that's where the hero was.

Stepping into the rusty structure, she found what she was looking for. In her pajamas, wrapped tightly by her red cape, was one mess of a Kryptonian.

"Hey..." She whispered, making her blue eyes look up. 

"Lena?... What are you... How did you get in?" She asked, confused.

"The spare key you gave me. I kept it, in case of an emergency." 

"...Oh."

"But why are you surprised to see me? You must have heard me get in..."

"I blew up my powers... I can't really hear... or see much." She explained, then looked away "Why are you here?"

She breathed in, tiredly.

"You didn't come to the party... I was worried about you."

"But you hate me."

She flinched.

"I don't."

"You don't need to say that out of pity."

"I'm not, I really... I don't. I can't hate you." She confessed, laying next to Kara, who was sitting in one of the steps. "I'm sorry I made you think I did."

"It's okay. I deserved it. I lied to you, I kept you in the dark, and even if I did it with good intentions it doesn't really matter, does it? I hurt you, and that gives you the right to hurt me." She rambled, words tainted with pain. "So why don't you? Why don't you hurt me?"

Out of all the things she expected to hear that night, that question was the worst of them all. For the first time in her life, she didn't know what to say.  
So instead, she kept her silence.

Kara seemed to have understood her internal battle, because she quickly moved the subject along.

"I think at this point, lying to you isn't even the worst thing I've done." She mumbled from underneath the cape. "Promising my mom I'd see her again soon, when I visited Argo this summer... Telling her I'd keep her safe... Now that's become my worst regret." 

"You didn't know..."

"I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING!" She shot up, still holding the cape. Lena was startled by her sudden explosion of rage, but didn't try to escape. "I could have opened a portal there! I could have help Kal evacuate the city, I could have asked Mom to move closer to our earth, I could have made her see that with or without the anti-matter wave, Argo would still collapse, and that putting all of their trust in a damn rock, no matter how powerful, was never a good plan to begin with!" 

"Kara..." The CEO started again, slowly. "There's nothing you could have done. The people in Argo wouldn't want to leave their home, just like the citizens of National City wouldn't want to leave here, at least not if there wasn't an Apocalypse happening. And jumping through a portal to Argo while that wave hit? You would have died with them."

"Well, maybe I should have!"

The blonde rested her hands on the railing, head hanging low.

"You don't mean that." Lena replied, worry squeezing her lungs. "Kara?" She stood up. "Tell me you don't mean that."

When the only response she got was a gut wrenching sob, the businesswoman couldn't help but move closer and wrap her arms around the shaking superhero, who soon turned around, letting her face fall defeated against her shoulder.

Lena had never seen Kara look so lost before. She thought she had fully known every single type of sadness in her life, that is, until she held her close that night. The blonde's dispair was something she had never experienced up till that point. She wasn't trying to diminish her own pain -only she knew how much trauma she had gone through-. But this? This was terrifying, to say the least. 

"Let's go inside. You need to rest."

"Please, don't leave me too."

Her voice was so small, it was barely there at all.

"I won't." She kissed the side of Kara's head. "I promise."

\---

Neither of them slept that night. They just held each other close, too afraid of letting go and loosing everything again.

"Thank you for coming." She heard the blonde whisper, and felt her grip around her waist tighten slightly.

Smiling to herself, the Luthor caressed her hand.

Yes, she still agreed that they weren't on _great_ terms. 

They had a long way ahead of them to get there.

But for now, _good_ was more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I love angst, and it's noticeable...


End file.
